And that made me think of all I see when I’m out networking. There’s much more to meeting and greeting people than people realize – which is probably why I see so many rookie mistakes. For today’s rookie mistake – I’m just going to focus on the introduction. Most people introduce themselves in a way that is not at all inviting, enticing or interesting. And by interesting, I don’t mean some cutesy (read: stupid) slogan.

I was at an event a couple weeks ago and I met Ted. Ted seemed like a nice guy. Ted introduced himself (crappy handshake by the way) and started to tell me what he did for a living. He droned on and on and on. About five minutes in, I was wondering how he got into a customer facing role. How could anyone at the company think that he would be a good fit to leave the four walls of his office and have real life interactions with other human beings? Then I found out he was one of the partners. Oh, that explains it. He bought it way into a customer facing role.

So what could he have done differently to make this interaction more palatable?

First, he could’ve smiled. Quit making talking to people seem like such a chore.

Second, he could’ve had some inflection and enthusiasm in his voice. Everybody doesn’t need to be super outgoing, but less monotone would help.

Third, he could’ve quit talking about himself. Some people need to learn when enough is enough. If you’ve been talking with (at?) someone for longer than 60-90 seconds, it’s time for you to ask them a question and let the other person speak.

If you really don’t want to be inviting, enticing or interesting, that’s fine. Just quit coming to networking events and boring us to death. Because what we really want to do is “chop” you from the conversation. Not smiling enough? Chopped. No inflection in your tone? Chopped. Conversation not interesting? Chopped. Making rookie mistakes? Chopped!  Where’s Ted Allen when we need him?

Do people need to revisit their profiles?  Yes, they do.  Do people need to sound more fascinating?  Yes they do.   Do people obviously hate talking about themselves?  Yes they do – and it shows!

Here are a few of the words LinkedIn considers overused – and here are some ideas of how you could replace them with more interesting content:

Effective:  Instead of being effective, say: I get things done.  I get things done people don’t think can’t be done.  And then give an example of something that was way beyond reach that you accomplished.

Extensive experience:   Actually, I like to know if someone has extensive experience in something. The problem lies in the fact that typically people don’t also share where they have moderate experience – so it’s kind of hard to define what extensive experience actually means.  If you say “15 years in the technology industry” or “20 years in retail inventory planning and assortment” people will pretty much figure out how extensive your experience is.  Just be sure that you don’t create an example that could be questioned or make you sound not up-to-date.  For example, let’s say you worked in the PC industry in the early 80s.  That would make you one of the few.  And while that’s kind of cool, it makes you sound dated.  But, if you were always on the cutting edge – and went from PCs in early 80s to digital video compression technologies to Cloud, then that’d tell a better story.

Track Record:  I can completely see how this term is overused.  Everyone has a track record, don’t they?  Even the people who come in last place.  It’s recorded somewhere, right? This is where the “how much by when” statements mean so much more than the words “proven track record.”  For example, let’s say you’re in sales, and for the last five years, you’ve consistently achieved 200% of your quota.  That’s good.  That sounds like a track record.  But if you tell me you’ve been over 100% (or hanging out at 105%) that doesn’t seem like a stretch.

Organizational:  I honestly don’t know what a person could possibly be thinking by putting this in their profile as a standalone word.  I’m guessing it probably precedes words like effectiveness or design.  But then I got curious and looked it up on LinkedIn and found more than 1 million profiles with the word organizational.  So I started going through some profiles and found that, unless you’re in OD, most people who used this word had profiles that were less than exciting.  I have no substitute for this word.  I recommend removing it (unless you’re in OD)!!

Creative:  Yeah, yeah, everybody thinks they’re creative.  And actually, most people are.  No one person has the lock on creativity, but what might be more interesting is talking about where and how you’re creative.  Are you the person who figures out how to solve the big challenges – the bigger the better.  Then say that!  Are you the marketing person with a talent in taking boring collateral and making it pop?  Are you financial person who figures out ways to increase the bottom line without cutting a bunch of people?  Sounds like someone I’d like to work with!

But getting rid of buzzwords is only half the battle.  Maybe what LinkedIn could do next is analyze the profiles on a scale of how boring they are.  It could be called a z-score.  The number of z’s in your profile could indicate how absolutely boring, not fun, not fascinating you seem. A score of Zzzzz would be a total snoozer, whereas a Zz might just tip the eyelids a touch.

Perhaps if people focused less on the big words and actually were more dynamic, innovative and creative by being real, authentic and interesting, then LinkedIn would have a more effective organizational track record!

What do I typically think about when faced with this great opportunity?  I’m thinking about the key messages I want to articulate.  I’m thinking about where I need help.  I’m thinking, if there were a potential customer in the room, what could I say (and how could I say it) in a way that makes them want to do business with me.  And most of all, I’m thinking about how I can get as many people in the room as possible to want to meet me – to proactively seek me out.

The feedback (in the form of results) is fairly immediate.  By the end of the evening, if no one comes up to me, I must’ve said the wrong thing to the wrong people at the wrong time.  Essentially a marketing failure.  If at least one or two people come up to me afterward, I know I’m headed in the right direction.  If it’s more than that, I’m thrilled.  If the people coming up to me are actually people I really want to get to know as well, then my little spiel worked like a charm.

In this case, out of the 50 people in the room, I knew only two – which means basically 48 chances to make a good impression (even better than playing the lottery!).  Quickly, I had to figure out what information I wanted to get across.  First and foremost, I wanted to let all the executives in the room know that we have a networking forum in which they should participate.  But, oh, I’ve written a book on job search and just in case there are some job seekers, I want them to know about that, and they ought to come to our upcoming meeting for execs in the job search.  And I do public speaking.  And finally, I’m new to Denver, and would really like to make some new friendships here.  Sounds like a mouthful.  But, I figured out a way to present that information in a clear, concise and entertaining way.

And, at the end of the meeting, I had more than 10 business cards of people who wanted to meet with me.  Out of those, four were people I’d written down that I’d like to meet (based on their intros).

Were all of these people potential customers?  Maybe not.  But do they all have the ability to refer someone to me?  Maybe.

So, a lot goes on.  And sometimes (most times) you’ll just have a minute or two to prepare, because you don’t always know when you’re going to be in this type of situation.  And don’t think a canned intro or memorized elevator speech is going to get you the same results.  People can smell that a mile away.  It’s stiff, it’s rehearsed, and it will rarely achieve near the results than words which are authentic, targeted and in the moment.

Second place doesn’t sound so bad, does it?  Well it doesn’t… unless of course, you’re looking for a job.  Then second place might as well be dead last.

Siobhan called me last week.  She was prepping for an interview to run Human Resources for a really interesting company in the transportation sector.  But she was worried.  She’s been the finalist for five different positions.  And coming in second isn’t exactly paying the mortgage.  So, she decided to call a Lifeline.

Siobhan and I talked about her situation.  The good news for her is that she’s getting interviews.  The bad news is that they’re not turning into offers.  She has an impressive background and looks great on paper.  That’s half the battle.  The other half is figuring out how to get the company to realize she’s the one.  We talked about how she was going to approach the interview with the president of the company.  I asked her how she was going to start the conversation and what questions she was going to ask. 

And to me it was clear as day.  I could tell exactly why she was coming in second.  I know why she’s not getting the offers.  It’s pretty easy.  She’s asking all the wrong questions.  She’s more focused on selling herself and asking tactical/me-too kinds of questions.  She’s thinking too much about the role and forgetting who her audience is in the interview.  Presidents of companies aren’t concerned with the tactical aspects of HR.  Presidents don’t care about the intricacies of employee engagement.  Presidents don’t care about the specific training programs put in place for their people.  Presidents don’t care about the details around the benefit programs.  Well, actually, they care about all of these things on a broad scale, but they don’t want to deal with it… and that’s why they hire someone to run HR. 

If you’re going to spend some time talking to the president or organizational leader of a company, you need to stop thinking about what you care about, and start thinking about what they care about.  You need to start thinking about competition and profit margin and new products and services and cash flow and where the next set of customers are coming from.  You need to start from a bigger picture and ask questions around how the company is going to thrive, sustain or turn around.  Because if you look like you’re someone who cares about the business drivers and the success of the overall organization (which you probably do), then you’re much more valuable to the company.

The other thing we talked about was making people comfortable.  I told her that it was highly likely that if someone stumbled over your name every time they had to say it, they probably wouldn’t want to work with you – because getting the name wrong every time is pretty embarrassing.  And unless you’re a die-hard fan of the 80’s band Bananarama, you probably don’t know how to pronounce Siobhan (and even if you were a fan, you still might not know how to pronounce it).  So, make it easy for people.  When you introduce yourself, give the person a little help:  “Hi, I’m Siobhan – sounds like Chiffon – only with a V.”

You may think this is a nit.  And while it may seem little, just remember, sometimes the margin between 1st and 2nd is not all that big!

It’s hard to build relationships when people feel like they can’t even talk to you. Have you ever said hello to people, only to have them practically bite your head off.  Geez pal, maybe you should lay off the caffeine for a while!

But this idea of approachability – I think about it often.  I think about it often because often times I run across people who don’t seem very approachable.  In fact, not very nice.  And this is before I’ve even had the opportunity to meet them.  What’s my first clue?  It’s the face.   It’s the way they maintain eye contact.  But really, what it all comes down to is – it’s the smile.  If you smile at me, I’ll smile back (and chances are pretty good I was already walking around with a partial smile – and you just helped me make it whole).

I was in the gym this morning.  My path was about to cross another.  At first, I looked at him, then I glanced away.  Then, thinking that wasn’t nice, I glanced back, smiled and said hello.  He smiled back. All of this happened in the span of about two seconds.  Did this interchange make my day?  No, but it didn’t ruin his either (at least I don’t think so).

Why is this important?  Because if you want to build relationships, you need to have a welcoming demeanor.  One that says “Hey, I’m someone to get to know.  And I won’t even bite your head off.”

Some people walk around with a perma-smile.  Whether they’re truly happy or that’s how their face was formed, I’m not quite certain.  But, my hasty generalization is that they lead a more positive life.  I’ve also seen just the opposite – those whose lips either take a straight line or form down into somewhat of a frown.  And my hasty generalization here is that they’re not as nice, they’re intimidating (maybe to the point of being a little scary), and they border on the negative.

So what are you?  And how do you know.  One thing you could do is look in the mirror at your natural face.  Does smiling come easy to you?  Another telltale sign is when you’re out and about.  Do people ask you what time it is?  Do they ask you for directions?  Do you find yourself engaging in conversation with strangers?  When I’m traveling abroad, I’m often approached by strangers.  In European countries, I’m asked for directions – sometimes by tourists, but sometimes by locals too.  In countries where it’s obvious I’m not native, I’m still approached – especially by people who want to practice their English if only for a minute.  And the funny thing is, I’m happiest when I’m traveling abroad.  I love it so much, and it obviously shows on my face.  But the other thing is, I’m here to help.  I have a helpful attitude going on.  I have a welcoming demeanor.

Do you want to have a more welcoming demeanor?  Because let me tell you, it’s a lot easier to build relationships with one than without one!  What can you do to develop yours more fully?  Here are a few  ideas:

1.  Walk around making eye contact with others (but not in a creepy way).  Don’t look away when someone looks at you.  Break into a smile and say hello, good morning or good afternoon.

2.  When walking into the office, a meeting or networking event, put your best face on.  Say words like cheese, bees, (help me) please.  They all end in a nice, pleasant smile.  If you don’t want to go the full distance, you can say (silently – upon approach) something like “Did you lose weight?”  But you need to say the entire phrase.  It ends in the perfect grin – one that’s not overboard, yet is pleasant enough.  In other words, you’re approachable.

3.  Wear a mentality that says “I’m here to help.”  When you truly are here to help, people notice.  Look for ways to offer a hand. 

A few years ago, I saw a woman in a grocery store parking lot.  She was crying and I asked her if she was okay.  Turns out she locked her keys in her car and her infant was sitting there still in the back seat.  Tears streamed down as she told me that there was no way to open the car.  Fortunately, a few years back, I had owned the same car – and locked my keys in it one too many times.  I got my coat hanger out of my trunk (there for just these type of emergencies) and got to work on the window.  Within about 30 seconds, the door was open.  She thanked me and as I was walking away, I heard her other little girl ask “Mommy, what’s a savior?”  I felt pretty good that day.  But if you walk around looking for ways to help out, you’ll end up feeling pretty good most of the time!

There’s plenty more when it comes to impressions – but approachability is a good starting point, because if no one wants to approach you, it’s pretty difficult to build deep relationships.  Which brings me to – hey, did you lose weight?

P.S.  Happy Birthday Dad!

Let me give you a little glimpse into where the opportunities might lie.

The first person I met was at the Red Carpet Club Lounge at LAX.  We were both headed to the coffee machine.  But this was no ordinary coffee machine.  This looked like you needed some type of Masters of Barista Science from Starbucks University in order to figure out how to work it.  As we were discussing whether either of us had such training (the answer was a resounding no), we took the opportunity to find out what each other did.  His job was far more interesting than mine.  He works for the President.  Yes, the President! How cool is that?!  I can’t wait to follow up with him – maybe schedule a lunch with him and his boss.

Then, on my flight, I met a woman who lived in Australia and had been to Bali many times.  Got lots of good ideas from her.  Plus, she had the inside scoop on our seats – which were too close to the cockpit and very noisy.  We had an option to move to some other seats and she volunteered us.  Boy was I lucky to have met her! On the train from the airport into central Sydney, my husband and I met a woman who works for the Tourist Board of New South Wales.  She was nice enough to send us some great tourist info to our hotel.

On to our Banyan Bike Tour of the rice paddies in Bali (which was incredible…and a MUST DO if you’re ever in Bali).  We met a photographer based in Australia (who could use the NSW Tourist Board contact), and his wife, who works for a charity based in Colorado (where I live).  Then we met some other people who are moving to Portland, one going to work for a big advertising agency that works with Nike.  Definitely a good contact there.  Plus I’ll be in Portland in a few months, and it will be good to reconnect.

On the way home, I sat next to a really interesting man who runs Global Risk for a major bank.  The conversation was fascinating, and his job is really very cool.  He was extremely interesting to talk to (and both his birthday and anniversary are next week – so it’s a great opportunity to follow up with him).   Plus, I met someone else a couple months ago who would be good for him to meet.

After that, while waiting for our bags at the pre-customs baggage claim, I met a guy who works for the company that makes Happy Meal toys for McDonalds.  He’s from Australia, but based in Chicago.  Seems like someone I should know.  Then, in the line for customs, the guy behind me – turns out he runs a number of businesses throughout the world, but also used to run a CEO network in Australia and New Zealand.  Might be a good person to know for when we go international. 

Finally, on my flight back to Denver, I sat next to someone who manages a coal mine.  This was really interesting because just two weeks ago, I met some executives from a mining services company – so I had a little more frame of reference for his business.  In fact, he should meet the folks from the mining services company.  I’ll get that set up for them.

I probably could’ve met a few people in the gate area, but my connection from LAX to DEN was really short and I made it to the gate just in time for boarding.

The point here is that there’s opportunity to meet all kinds of people.  You never know who you’re going to be standing in front of or behind, seated next to, or hanging out in the same area.  It’s not like I’m standing around introducing myself to everyone around me.  But while people are just hanging out, they’re bored.  They’d love to have someone strike up a conversation.  You just have to be on the lookout for an opening.  You have to have a friendly face on.   You can’t be talking on your phone, emailing someone or listening to music.  You have to be in the moment.  Completely aware of your surroundings and the opportunities they present.  Because trust me, these opportunities will present themselves to you.  Maybe it’s time to start paying attention.

You kept moving in your chair.  And I don’t mean rolling.  I mean constantly changing your seating position.  From one side to the other.  Adjusting.  Fidgeting.  I checked the chair after you left to ensure it wasn’t as uncomfortable as you made it appear.  And it wasn’t.  So maybe it was you.  Maybe you can’t sit still. The job didn’t really call for someone who could “sit still for three hours” but if you can’t sit still for three minutes, then you’re probably not a good fit.  Maybe you should focus on outdoor positions – like a postal worker.  They don’t have to (or get to) sit for very long at all.

I asked you a question about your background, and you kept looking at your resume to see what it said and verify that what you’re telling me is correct.  One of many things is happening.  Either you don’t remember what you did.  You don’t remember what you wrote.  Or you’re an imposter.  Any of which don’t bode well when looking for a job.  Tell you what.  If you don’t remember what’s on your resume, either study up prior to having a conversation with someone, or remove the information.  I didn’t need you to be 100% spot on.  If you were off by a few percentage points of revenue results – I didn’t really care, but you didn’t remember any of your results or the timeframe in which you supposedly produced them.  Who even wrote your resume?

You took the videoconference in what appeared to be a baby’s nursery.  That would’ve been great if were interviewing to run a child-care center.  But you weren’t.  And it just looked unprofessional.  The funny thing is that your camera was on your laptop.  And last time I checked, laptops were pretty mobile.  You couldn’t find a better background in the entire house?  If you don’t have a great background, then set one up.  Hang a nice picture on the wall, put a plant on a credenza, shut the blinds – so you don’t have too much light facing the camera.  Easy.

You wore stripes.  I kept reaching for the controls to adjust the horizontal hold.  Then you moved and it made me dizzy.  Stick to plain shirts next time.

Speaking of shirts.  Your shirt can often define your level of professionalism.  I don’t care if it’s casual Friday, and it’s your very best concert t-shirt with all the tour dates from the 2005 Loggins & Messina Reunion Tour.  But if you don’t come into an interview (whether it’s on videoconference or in person) in a suit, I can’t take you seriously for a leadership role.

You left without knowing where you stood.  You didn’t ask about your competition.  You didn’t ask if you were a top candidate or somewhere in the middle.  Didn’t you want to know if you were a fit or not?  I was dying to tell you.  But, if you want to walk out and not know where you stand, I guess that’s your prerogative.

We had some pretty stellar candidates.  But by and large, the stellar candidates had very similar attributes.  They were sharply dressed (maybe the concert t-shirt was underneath the suit?), they were prepared and took notes.  They had an ease about them that came across as confidence, but not arrogance.  They sat still in their chair for normal amounts of time.  They were enjoyable.  They smiled.  They were friendly.  They seemed like people you wanted to work with.

From now on, forget the phone screens.  Because, before we spend too much more time together, I want to know if you can dress properly, if you know your own background, and if you have the presence worthy of the role.

Yes, sometimes it takes a while.  A long while.  In fact, companies take much longer than you ever anticipated.  And while you submitted your info for that position ages ago, it seems like they’re just now getting to it.  The problem is that you submitted your info for about 15 (or 150) other positions as well.  You have a vague recollection of the position and right about now, you’re wishing that you put together some sort of tracking mechanism for times just like this.  You’re caught a little off guard.  And it shows.

For whatever reason, many job seekers seem to think that hiring the next person is the only thing on someone’s plate.   Very few companies have a core competency in recruiting.  Unless you’re a corporate recruiter, for most people in the organization, finding new talent is a reactive and unwelcome task that takes people away from their day job.

Couple this with the fact that most companies want candidates to meet a number of people in the organization before making a decision.  Have you ever tried to coordinate dinner among three friends who have busy lives?  Then you know what it’s like to try to coordinate interviews with management teams.  It’s not easy.  You’re wondering why they can’t get their act together.  And it shows.

You finally meet with the company.  And then you meet with them again.  And again.  And again.  It’s only the fifth interview.  You’re wishing they would hurry up with the decision.  And it shows.

Perhaps it’s time to reset our expectations when it comes to hiring.  And that goes for everyone.

For job seekers, the reset rests around the timeframe.  Expect the process to take forever.  And when it doesn’t, you’ll be pleasantly surprised.  When they say three days, they mean three weeks.  When they say thirty days, they mean ninety.  When they say immediately, they mean “immediately as soon as we find the right person.”  Just remember, it is typically cheaper to have a gap than fill it with the wrong person.

For companies, the reset rests around the lack of making modifications along the way.  For every one person who is a perfect fit for the role, you’ll probably get 99 resumes of people who are not.  This takes a while to find that needle in the haystack.  For every person you finally meet, you’ll identify another set of criteria that you wish you had included initially.  And now you’re setting off down a modified path.  Only you don’t tell any of your future prospects.  You keep this new information to yourself, because you’ll know it when you see it.  You simply hope you find the right person with the old posting and are disappointed when no one seems to be a fit.

The hiring process is both cumbersome and time consuming for all parties.  And it shows.  Next time, whether you’re a job seeker meeting with company, or a company meeting with a candidate – have a little empathy for what each of you is going through.  Don’t dwell on the process, but know that it takes a while.  And be okay with that.  The good news is that it typically moves faster than Congress.  And once you’re hired, it’s probably a lot more fun!

I’ve attached my most current resume even though I sent you one last month, and the month before and the month before.  Honestly, there’s nothing updated about it.  I’m just fearful that you might have accidentally deleted it and therefore won’t have the ability to refer me to everyone you know.  Speaking of everyone you know.  Could you please refer me to everyone you know.  I will follow up with everyone you know and I will get back to you as to the status of the follow up.  If there’s anything I can do for you, please let me know.  Seeing as how we only met once, I’m not really sure how I can help you – as I barely even know you.  But if you do think of anything, please let me know and I will send your request out to my LinkedIn Network of more than 500 people – most of whom I couldn’t identify in a lineup if you paid me.

Have a great [fill in closest national holiday here].
God bless,
Pat

Have you ever been on the receiving end of an email like this?  When are people going to learn?  When are they going to learn that sending a mass email telling the world you’re in a job search is not going to get you a job?  Sure, one person out there probably got a job from a mass email – so there goes my “it will never work” theory.  But for the rest of you.  No dice.

A friend of mine was recently the recipient of one such email.  And boy was it a long one.  Eleven paragraphs to be exact.  The sender used the words I/my/me more than 25 times. He used my friend’s name twice – the first in the greeting, the second for what appeared to be a feeble attempt at personalization.

He’s been searching all his life to figure out what he wants to do… and now he’s found it.  He attached a Contact Log including target companies – with instructions on how to complete the log with contact names, phone numbers and email addresses to return back to him along with the preferred way to coordinate introductions.  Wow.  Homework from someone you don’t even know.  Really?

My friend asked me what I thought of this strategy.  I told him I cringe every time I see it.  For the past couple weeks, I’ve been on the receiving end of at least five of these.  I’ve been on the receiving end of one guy’s “quest for the perfect job” email since May, 2009.  Guess what, pal?  It’s not working!

It’s time to stop the mass job search emails.  If you’re really serious about getting results for your search, you’d quit expecting everyone around you to stop their world in order to help you.  You’d take a look at your contacts, pick five people, call them up, and set up a time to meet. 

When meeting with these people, you’d further your relationship by getting to know them better.  You’d figure out how you can take this opportunity to help them (and it’s not in the form of the question “how can I help you?”).  And through helping them you might see an opening or two where they could help you.  Once you start to bring value to others, the value will come to you.  Sometimes helps comes to you in a circuitous route – not always directly from the person you helped.  And that’s okay.

Here’s the good news.  You don’t have to spend any more time drafting personalized job search update emails or waiting until the Contact Log homework comes back from your network.  Instead, focus on fewer, key relationships.  Chances are really good that through relationships – no matter how tight or loose – you’ll come to find your next opportunity. 

Hope you had a great holiday! God bless.

A friend of mine recently joined a new company.  She told me about the company culture and how no one seems to talk to one another.  People email, instant message and text all day long.  Only if there’s a conflict is there an actual conversation on the phone or face-to-face.  Sounds efficient?  Absolutely.  Is it effective?  Not so much.

Here’s the problem.  The only time there’s an actual conversation with voice, inflection, tone, body language – you know, more than 80% of communication – is during a conflict.  And the conflicts are real conflicts.  They are not discussions, they are arguments, because essentially, these people have no foundation for basic communication.  They’re missing the basic elements of a relationship.  Why would their “discussions” be pleasant?   And if this is the culture with their employees, what is it like with their customers?  I’ll tell you what it is.  It’s toxic.  That’s what.

But this behavior is easily fixed.  It just takes some discipline.  I told my friend to respond to every email, IM and text with a phone call or an in-person chat.  Will it take some extra time?  Sure.  Will her co-workers think she’s nuts?  Probably.  Will they get tired of her calling when she could’ve just replied electronically?  Perhaps.  But here’s what she’s doing.  She’s secretly laying the groundwork for a relationship.  The kind of relationship that builds over time, and you still have because you invested so much time into it.  The kind of relationships that we had at work 20 years ago.  The kind that will last forever.

Quite frankly, I’m tired of email.  I’m tired of texting.  I don’t even succumb to IM.  Twenty years ago, I used to IM at IBM and the only reason we’d do that was to ensure there was no audit trail.  Those were the days!

Yes, I’m tired of all this instant communication where everyone expects you to respond in an instant without regard for your schedule, obligations, responsibilities or memory.  I’m sorry, your email got buried in the 200 other ones I received yesterday.  Yes, I forgot you texted me.  I guess if it was that important, you would’ve picked up the phone and called me.

I’ve been to a dinner or two where the people are there physically, but not mentally.  They are so busy texting work associates, other friends, children and spouses, it makes you wonder why they even bothered showing up.  Please, please don’t let me get in the way of your life.  And please, please don’t ask me to join you for dinner again!

I’ve seen many a job seeker cop out by emailing when they really should just pick up the phone and have a conversation.  It kills me.  People think email is so efficient because you can “talk at” a lot of people in a short timeframe.  But isn’t it more effective to have an actual conversation where you can determine opportunities and gain closure?

You can keep texting.  You can keep emailing.  You can even try IMing.  But if you really want to build, solid, successful relationships, you need to learn to pick up the phone, go out to lunch, meet up with people.  And have real life conversations with real live people.  Who knows, at the rate we’re going, maybe we won’t need a voice.  But I bet you’ll wish we still had one!